Bump the bumper stickers

I'm not really a fan of bumper stickers. I never really have been. Except for maybe when I was little and I wanted my mom to slap on the "Proud Parent of a Terrific Kid" sticker onto the back of her GMC Jimmy. And I only thought that was cool because it acknowledge my hard work and terrificness (if I could just use that as a word for a moment). But for the most part I can't get on board with them. I find most of them to be obnoxious. I will admit there are some that do have unique messages. And some that don’t slap you in your face with their ignorance. But I’m not talking about those. I’m talking about the ones that insult you with their lack of intelligence and dull wit. I’m talking about these:

"My kid can beat up your terrific kid" or is it "my kid can beat up your honor student"? Ugh. I get all kinds of bent out of shape when I read these. It's not so much what is being said but what isn't being said that irks me. "My kid didn't make the terrific kid so instead of encouraging him to work harder I'm going to send a message to his peers and his peers parents that not only is he not a "terrific kid" but that he wants to beat up your kid because of it" Maybe we shouldn't label kids as "terrific" in the first place but if that's your angle than plastering this sticker on your car doesn't make your case any stronger. 

And what about the ones with the little guy peeing on something they dislike like the number 88 for Dale Earnhardt Jr. or Obama or McCain or anything else you don't happen to like or agree with. It's just immature. And it makes me wonder if they'd pee on me if I happend to disagree.

But nothing can beat the spectacle I saw on my way home from a recent Deltona trip. As I approached a truck I noticed there was something covering the back far right window of the truck. The closer I got the bigger this image became until it was finally revealed to me to be a giant “bumper sticker” with a giant image of the side profile of a woman holding a gun. And it wasn't a little gun. It looked like a rifle (I really have no idea what kind of gun she was holding but it was big) and she was pointing it at oncoming traffic. I was afraid to pass cause I thought she might shoot me. I started cracking up. Is this a sticker letting me know you're a hunter or a part of the NRA or some sort of new alarm system to scare off thieves and/or vehicles trying to pass you? I guess it didn't really matter what it meant (if it even meant anything) cause I still found it to be OBNOXIOUS! But at least this one made me laugh.

Ok, I'm getting off my pedestal now...