As I sit here obsessively checking the same 3 websites I frequent Monday through Friday all I can think about is getting out of here! My heart's racing, my mind whirling, I cannot sit still and yet there's nothing for me to do. What's with today? Is it the dreaded Monday blues? The excitement of Christmas looming around the corner? Or possibly the thrill of being a part of my best friend's winter wedding that has me dripping with restlessness only a vacation can cure?
No, I'm just obsessive.
Blame it on a job that leaves me less than engaged. Blame it on a year filled with weddings and babies and marathons that has kept me going and going and going throughout 2009. Either way, I've come to realize I HAVE to have something on the horizon. Something to plan, perfect, or point out. Something to obsess over. And today, there...is... nothing.
On Friday I crossed off another obsession on my list. For over a month I put all of my efforts and energy into figuring out a way to be a part of the Napa to Sonoma Half Marathon in San Francisco. Days before registration even opened I was on the website researching prices, medals, events, locations and everything I could to make the registration process easier. Then when registration finally opened I literally went on the website daily and pretended to sign up. PRETENDED. DAILY. This went on for a good month. I was waiting on my husband's input to actually sign up. Money and scheduling was a concern. Finally a few friends of mine emailed me that they had signed up and that I should too.
Let the obsession begin.
For two days I plotted and planned how this run and trip could work. I firmly confronted my husband demanding we make a decision by last Friday. Registration was 90% full and if we didn't sign up for it now we'd have to wait another year to be able to enjoy the race and San Francisco.
Thursday night the decision was made. It would be our vacation.
San Francisco here we come! I signed up Friday morning. At this point the registration was simple. I had already filled out the form several times before, including my husbands information so all I had to do was check a few boxes for t-shirt sizes and we were in. My fingers typed at a speed I didn't recognize. I felt as though I was in a race against myself. Could I type fast enough before it closed on me? You bet I could. My fingers went faster. "just get there!" I chanted as if I were already in the race, a mere mile from the finish line. And suddenly I had completed the task! Whew! You made it! You're registered!
What a relief! It felt so good to finally rid myself of that obsession.
Until today, when I have nothing left to obsess over. The race isn't until July. I've done all of my Christmas shopping. I've done everything I can do for the wedding. I did my long run last night for another marathon I am running. Now I wait. wait. wait.
Maybe I'll obsess over the waiting. Yes, I think I will.
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